the underbelly


Justine the coffee robot
February 25, 2008, 12:37 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: ,
That is Justine the coffee robot. She’s an Italian made robotic barrista who makes instant coffee (they’re working on it).
This creates a bit of a conflict for me because I want it and I fear it at the same time.
Pros: It has my name and I’m egotistical enough to really appreciate that. Until now there have really only been four other Justines in my cultural knowledge, most of them sexual in some way or other (thanks parents! Really giving me some good role models!). 1. Justine, by Lawrence Durrell, a part of the Alexandrian Quartet. It centers on Justine, a nymphomaniac. Awesome. 2. Justine, by Marquis de Sade. I like the plotline summary from the imdb site of the movie made from the book: ” A woman named Justine is (willingly) used and abused by all manner of perverts, freaks and sexual deviants.”   So okay.  In literature, if you have a character named Justine, more often than not she’s going to be….well…a bit loose to put it lightly.  3. If you search my name often there will be entries for a misspelling of Jena Jameson’s ex-husband, porn director Justin Sterling who’s work includes movies like Lust Runner, a sexual spoof on Blade Runner I believe. Classy. 4. The Good Girl, the movie starring Jennifer Anniston as Justine.  It’s about a sad girl working at a large chain store a la Walmart who has an affair with a young wannabe catcher in the rye. It’s actually a great movie. But the character, again a sexual deviant, isn’t someone I want to emulate.
So I’m happy to have my name be attached to this robot who, as far as I know, is not of yet sexual in any way. Another pro is that I love coffee. Love, love, love. I think it’s a miracle drink. There is little that a good cup can’t cure. Recently a cup of Zabar’s coffee was able to cure an annoying hangover. It was spectacular. Better than any raw egg yolk or whatever else home remedies for hangovers exist.
The reasons for disliking the robot are as follows:
1. It can, for the moment, only make instant coffee, which I think tastes like meat. Straight up pork. There was a time back in high school when I was at my caffeine addiction peak when I would drink it because I could get it for free at the snack shack type place (it was really a storage closet with an open door). But it did taste like bacon. And that was gross. But I was willing to withstand anything for a fix.
2. I hate/fear robots. Have you seen I, Robot? The Matrix? Or really anything else having to do with robots? Robots become mad with ambition. They will rise up, they will be better than us, and I don’t trust them. I don’t think we’ll be able to control them. If people want things that look and act like people but are just more intelligent, they should just have a really smart baby. Robots = terrifying. Although roombas are cute.
I’ll say this much. I do want this because making coffee is a bit of a chore for me (anything that is done in the morning or not involving a couch and a blanket is a bit of a chore, actually). But until this thing can learn to use a French press, it’s just not an option for me.
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2 Comments so far
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I feel … this Justine must have a sibling that should be a bartender too .

Comment by Diesel Mechanic Schools

Justine Bateman! She was the hotness is an 80’s kind of way.

I like your blog very much. I can hear you when I’m reading it.

Comment by Priscilla, H.S.L.M.




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